128: Critique Over Criticism: Emma Murray on Learning Faster Under Pressure
In Part 2 of this conversation, Emma Murray and Dwayne Kerrigan move from awareness into practical performance tools. Emma introduces one of the most powerful distinctions in high performance: critique versus criticism.
She explains why self-criticism is a survival response that quietly destroys confidence, slows learning, and locks people into repeated mistakes. Through examples from elite sport, sales, leadership, parenting, and everyday life, Emma breaks down how to review performance by examining the entire process — thoughts, feelings, actions, and results — rather than attacking outcomes or identity.
The conversation also dives into fear-based leadership, tunnel vision, stress responses, and why people perform worse when they feel watched, pressured, or unsafe. Emma shares actionable techniques to regain presence under pressure, including breath, body awareness, and “small focus” anchors that keep the mind out of fight-or-flight. This episode equips leaders, entrepreneurs, and performers with a repeatable framework for learning faster, leading better, and performing consistently — even when stakes are high.
Episode Highlights:
00:00 – Emma on self-kindness under pressure and stopping the internal threat response
01:00 – Dwayne intro + framing Part 2: turning attention and mindset into action
02:00 – Critique over criticism: how thoughts drive feelings, actions, and results
03:30 – Outcome focus vs process focus and why pressure hijacks performance
05:05 – How to critique the entire performance process (thinking, feeling, doing)
06:40 – Turning failure into growth by extracting the right lessons
08:00 – Why quarterly reviews fail and daily reflection matters
09:45 – Coaching teams beyond checklists and task correction
11:25 – A-game vs B-game language and building awareness in teams
13:40 – Leaders, fear, control, and psychological safety
15:30 – Running toward outcomes vs accessing creativity and big-picture thinking
17:30 – The “flashlight of attention” metaphor for leaders and parents
19:40 – Stress responses, presence, and anchoring attention (breath, feet, listening)
22:00 – Training attention as a performance muscle
25:45 – Stress cycles, recovery, and sustainable performance
29:10 – Introduction to the Closed Eye Process and presence training
32:00 – Deep dive: critiquing vs criticizing explained step-by-step
36:30 – Survival wiring, subconscious files, and performance memory
39:30 – The CHIMP brain, danger signals, and slipping into B-game
42:30 – Small controllable focus as the pathway back to A-game
Key Takeaways:
- Critique examines process, not personal worth
- Thoughts drive feelings, feelings drive actions, actions drive results
- Growth comes from extracting learnings — not from failure alone
- Fear narrows focus and creates tunnel vision
- Small, controllable focus prevents fight-or-flight
- Connection reduces fear and restores execution
Quotes:
“Failure does not give you growth if you are not actually eliciting the lessons from it.” - Emma Murray
“Feet on floor, bum on chair … Bring your attention to your feet, your bum, your breath … those things are gonna anchor you back into the present moment” - Emma Murray
“When all this fails, use your breath” - Emma Murray
“The human mind cannot carry two thoughts simultaneously.” - Dwayne Kerrigan
Resources Mentioned
- Critique Over Criticism Framework
- A-Game / B-Game Performance Model
- CHIMP Paradox – Dr. Steve Peters
- Closed-Eye Process
Emma is sought-after by ASX 100 corporations, executives, and the education sector for her unique High Performance Mindfulness practice that drives sustainable improvements in performance, by providing the skills and tools that enable participants to bring their 'A-Game' to high-pressure moments.
Website: https://www.emmamurray.com.au/
Instagram: www.instagram.com/highperformancemindfulness
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/em.murray.mindcoach/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/high-performance-mindfulness/
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Disclaimer: The views, information, or opinions expressed by guests during The Dwayne Kerrigan Podcast are solely those of the individuals involved and do not necessarily represent those of Dwayne Kerrigan and his affiliates. Dwayne Kerrigan or The Dwayne Kerrigan Podcast is not responsible for and does not verify the accuracy of any of the information contained in the podcast series. The primary purpose of this podcast is to educate and inform. Listeners are advised to consult with a qualified professional or specialist before making any decisions based on the content of this podcast.